A Conversation

This evening E and I went to a Variety Show at K's school. What a variety it was!!!! A bunch of kids having fun. There were two talented kids, that is it... The rest did all the other things that did not take much of a talent.... singing badly, dancing badly, signing, unfunny comedy, and other unmemorable performances. But the intro guy was funny. He did not mind to get beating from the audience. Good for him!!!!

I could write more about the show but this blog is about a conversation E and I had on the way home. We have been the best of friends for a long time. For well over seven years we have been sharing the biggest secrets with one another. This made us very close. This evening E talked about some of those secrets. We have brought up the past and talked about it for 45 min. It was a great way to start tonight.

I have been in relationships before but nothing like the one with E. We are meant to be with one another without a doubt. Everything we had to get through our lives led to our meeting. When we decided to be together it was a decision easy to make. It was natural. We knew majority of the people around us would not like it. We knew we had the kids to worry about. We also knew that the love and care and understanding will help us to face future challenges.

Back to the conversation. We asked each other the most intimate questions about previous relationships. The more was uncovered the more interesting it was getting. It is amazing the type of things we had to go through life and still stay the good people that we are.

We talked about our past relationships in depth. We uncovered many things, we relived some of our pasts. It made us closer. It made us inseparatable. The more E and I talk about the past the more we uncover the reasons why we are together.

I love him beyond and he loves beyond more....

The Kids

I have six kids. I am 29 years old and I have six children. When people I meet ask me how many kids I have that is what I tell them. Six. I get funny looks all the time. Most of the time they tell me that I am too young to have that many. What can I say.....? Sometimes I tell them that three of them are my step-kids, but most of the time I do not. I figure they already began their judgement process so why stop them.

Most of my friends think that I am crazy. They could not believe that I would be with the man with three kids. I lost several of my friends because of that. It was well worth it.

I love them. I love all of them equally. Strange, I know but so true. I look forward when I have them all at the same time. I get tired and stressed but sad when it is time for three of them to go back to their mother's house.

It took them a while to warm up to me. I never lie to them, I always tell them the truth. I give them my opinion as straight forward as I can. At first they did not like it. They 'told on' me a lot. I had to deal with all kinds of verbiage and name calling. But again, it was very well worth it. To this day I have to experience some unpleasant situations but they do not bother me. In the end I look at those kids as my own.

'T' is still so little. She acts like a teenager but her maturity does not allow her to pass my test. 'K' and I are getting much closer. She asks me for advice or opinion and values both. 'A' has so much work to do before she is ready to face the harsh world. I am working on her sensitivity so she will be OK.

But in the mix of it all they have a biological mother. At least that is what I call her. She does not have to try to get them to love her. She does not have to do anything special for them to get them to care for her. She simply exists and they love her regardless. I always take her in consideration when it comes to major talks with the girls. I never talk to them before her. I always communicate with her about any significant events that happens over the weekend or summer. When kids come to me and express their hate towards her and talk them back into loving her. I do not have to do it. I can just walk away. But as a mother I know the importance of biological mother. In the end, after all the everyday events are done and kids are in bed fast asleep, she is their mother. I will never be loved by them as they love her, they will never call me mom and one would think that it would bother me. Not at all. I want them to call me Nina. I have three kids that call me mom, it is refreshing to be called by my name by the other three. I do not expect them to love me. I expect respect - that is all.

They are my babies. All six of them.. I know it is difficult for anyone to understand why I look at them that way but it is not my problem. Most step-parents are just that step-parents. Not me... I will care and love all of them equally 4ever.

a piece of me

My life was not always great. I went through ups and downs plenty of times. Many months of my childhood I do not remember. People ask me questions that I cannot answer. What was I doing when I was nine? I have no idea. The only thing that I remember is the falling of the Wall. Do I have to remember anything else? When I was ten my life made a 180 turn and we became poor. I do not mean poor like in the US. I mean poor like in Europe after WWII. There was no food. There were no jobs to earn money to get food. The borders were closed so everything was local grown. Soon we run out of that as well. I know it sound very bad. But do not remember it as a bad experience at all.

My life was full of adventure. My friends and I were full of life. We had empty stomachs that were filled with curiosity. For the first time in our lives we discovered the shell of a bullet, kalashnikov, tanks.. all the cool military stuff. I look back as an adult and understand how dangerous that was, but as a kid it truly was the best time of my life. We talked the soldiers into giving us a ride on the tank. We went to school while listening to gun shots. We went to bed while guessing which gun was fired. Does not sound good, does it? :)

For the past two years I have been living a very comfortable life. Many people think of me as a spoiled kid. Someone who is after money. Those people are wrong. They do not know me. I enjoy luxury. I was born into luxury. I was fed with the silver spoon since I could eat. Seriously. I ate the best caviar available every day. I was chauffeured around since the day I was born. All compliments of my father's family.

After my father's death my mom left the family. we were on our own. When I was 10 I was asked to "join" the family all over again. I did not agree nor disagree. I visited every Sunday. It was like going to church. No one really enjoys to do it but go because of their obligation to God. Well, I had my obligations so I went. At 16 I left that family. I could not live by those rules. I wanted to be me. I wanted to make mistakes. I wanted to find myself. I wanted to think for myself. All my wants costed lots of money. But that is not what I missed leaving behind. What I miss the most is seeing my father's and my grandfather's pictures hanging on the wall. I missed my cousin. I missed the feeling of belonging to something great. That family was great in the sense of community outreach. It was a family of doctor's. If I was to stay in the family, today I would have been a doctor, probably running my grandmother's clinic. WOW!!! This is sooo not me. I could have had it but I gave it up. So I am not after the money after all.

Every part of my childhood made me who I am today. I love me. I can teach my kids to appreciate running water and electricity. I can try to explain to them hunger and the difference between wants and needs. I can do that as most people can't.

Because I had to live the life that I lived, I can make my kids better human beings.

Article

This morning while waiting for my husband at the doctor's office I read an article about the publicity Obama gets every day. I was reading the article with the smile on my face. I did find it sad that I take my current president with humor and very little respect. I never thought of having a celebrity president. Ronald Reagan was the only one who could have claimed to be a celebrity president but instead he chose to be a patriot to his country and to fight for the liberty and freedom as our founding fathers had envisioned many years ago.

So why did so many people vote for Obama? What is so special about him? The media presented him a the first Black president. I believe that is a great way to show the world that Americans as a whole are not racist. It is a great way to show the "black community" that racism is not in majority of "white" peoples' hearts. There is no differentiation. There is respect, love and unity of all races, believes, sexual orientation, etc... We the people.... not we the "white" people....

So if the majority of population does not see the color of the skin then why did so many people vote for Obama?

I do not claim to have an answer to that question. But I do have some thoughts.

1. Pier pressure - the white population had to prove to black population that they are not racist. what is the better way to do it if not voting for a black democratic candidate for the president.

2. Sweet Speeches - and what a speeches they were! He knows how to get the crowd going, but so does Brittney Spears, Aerosmith, Rolling Stone, Justin Timberlake, Madonna... should I go on? I always thought we were a nation of thinkers and not the followers. You, the people, proved me wrong.

3. Misleading promises - I have never heard so much lie in my life coming from one person. It was like Bill Clinton all over again times 10. To be honest I enjoyed listening to Obama's speeches. They inspired me to be a better and stronger CONSERVATIVE. Yes!.. all CAPS because I feel it in my heart.

4. John McCain - republican party could have not made it easier for Obama to be elected.

There are many more reasons why we have to deal with our current president.

I know many of you will not agree with my views but I do hope that you open your eyes to something new.

introduction

I would like to introduce myself. My name is Nina. I have been living in the United States of America for almost 11 years. I am married with kids. I enjoy cooking and find challenging to place all the "a"s and "the"s in the correct place. So bare with me.

I decided to start my own blog because I have many things to say to many different people. People I do not know and probably never will. Nevertheless, I believe in that every voice should be heard.

I came into this country raised by Europe. I thought the US was a beast. I thought the people of the US were self-centered and uncultured. I thought that for a while until I grew up and learned to love this country. Today I am a different person. I will fight for this land because I love it.

But I do not want to get into politics right away. I do not want to scare off all the liberals, after all I do want some audience.